It’s late at night and I am thinking about my life - The worst possible thing I do to myself. If you’ve been following me from the start, I have experienced crappy relationships in my life with one being the exception, Katie. But it’s not about her this time. I loved her four years ago, and I’ll love her to this day. I love her enough to let her be happy with her boyfriend now of two years, she deserves someone like him. 

But seriously, as you all know my last girlfriend Nicole fucked me over. It was a complete mind game the last month of our relationship and the two months after. She used me, used me to get over me. She wanted to have me in her life to slowly get over me. I was always given hope after the end of our relationship, that we’d get back together. But I was being dragged along for a ride, a miserable ride. I never knew that a nice girl like her would be capable of such destruction to my mind. She said friend’s with benefits, but those really never work out.

We’ll here’s a story that I must confess and that I am guilty of. And this girl’s name is “Marie”. No, her name isn’t really Marie, I’m just using that as a place holder for confidentiality reasons since a lot of my real life friends follow me. I’ve known “Marie” for four years, we used to be best friends and what went wrong was I developed a little crush on her. That little crush, crushed our friendship. I told her I had a crush on her, but we never acted on it.

Well while Nicole and I were friend’s with benefits with exclusivity, I had a really strong feeling she was seeing someone on the side because of how she would act. Nicole would never want anything about us in public, it gave me an odd vibe. Sometimes she would tell me she couldn’t go out, and she would end up hanging out with someone else.

One day, Nicole came over and we hung out for a bit. This was at about 7pm. She was texting someone, and I wasn’t sure who it was, but it did not matter to me because at the time I trusted her. It became weird though, suddenly she acted all sick and a few minutes later she said her mom wanted her home. Apparently her mom wanted her to sleep early, but her mother had never said such a thing over the past five months. Normally, Nicole would disobey her mother but this time she just left at around 7:30pm. After she left, I looked at my phone and “Marie” wanted me to go upstate with her for the night to keep her company while her best friend saw her boyfriend. It was a long distance kind of relationship, you know? I honestly needed a break from all the stress Nicole was giving me and I needed a break from my summer, so I went with “Marie”. “Marie” told me not to make a Facebook status or tell anyone, and I told her the same rules apply for her too. I packed my bag for the night and we left for upstate by 9pm.

At around 11pm, after a ridiculously long drive, we made it upstate. These houses were huge upstate, I was mind blown. The four of us went in the house and got settled in. We changed into bathing suits and went for a swim in the pool. I had so much fun in the pool with “Marie” while the her best friend and the best friend’s boyfriend were making out and stuff. The two of us hugged, swam, and just played around. Swimming burns a lot of calories, so we decided to go to the diner for some grub. This is at about 1am, we got breakfast food. I decided to try out the fries, but everything is the same in any diner you go to. When we left the diner, we went back to the house and played Kings, a drinking game. None of us got drunk, it was probably the food we just ate which absorbed everything. So instead we decided to go in the backyard and puff the magic dragon. That was a fail too, it never lit. 

Afterwards, we stayed in the backyard by the pool. It was dark, quiet, and we just wanted to enjoy each other’s company. Her best friend and the boyfriend were cuddling on one of the couches, spending quality time together that they should. “Marie” and I laid next to each other on another couch, with my arm around her. We looked at stars and saw thirteen shooting stars that night. I felt at peace. I look over to “Marie” and she looks over at me, we leaned in and had our first kiss. It was perfect, cliche, but perfect. Maybe it was something I had to do after four years of knowing her, then having a crush on her. She is my type of girl, perfect to me. But you know how they say you would know if you have chemistry with someone by the first kiss? Yeah, it may have been perfect, but I don’t think I had feeling for her anymore, and they didn’t rekindle. 

We went inside, gave each other our last good night kiss, and fell asleep on the couch together, 5am. 

The next morning, nothing was awkward. We woke up and just acted like friends again. Maybe we both had the same feeling? But it was good that we didn’t let that build a barrier between us. We had breakfast and drove back home. I haven’t seen her since, but “Marie” gave me the most perfect summer experience I could ever imagine. I had to return to real life though, an ex-girlfriend that mind-fucked me. Nicole dragged me along for another two months until she finally let me go because she found another guy, but it didn’t phase me because I knew she wasn’t worth it - “Marie” was worth it. 

I love you “Marie”, you will always be in my heart as a friend.